Well lets see what is up today. I wrote in my personal journal. My Dr. wants me to print it out and show it to him because I let him know that I wanted to be with God and not be on the earthly plane. He wants me to go to the ER if It gets too vivid. He's afraid I might really hurt myself. Hate to admit it but I have tried suicide before - the first time when I was 13 after being abused and raped by a relative for almost 6 years. And after my best friend whom I had a very special relationship - my BFF self terminated in 1995 - This person had mental issues but was able to get a gun - and used it. My BFF had planned it all out. Six months later I overdosed. An angel guided me to the hospital and saved my life. My daughter Rachel made me promise not to ever do it again. But she is gone from my life so the only time I will ever see her again is when we are both with God. No one seems to notice me.
I Try and facebook and twitter very rare anybody acknowledges me. So who would really miss me? I actually have been posting a poem about who would miss me. Nobody ever said they would miss me. No one even reads this blog even though I've posted the address on my twitter account. If I died tomorrow no one would care
. peace out
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