Hello hello finally figured out how to add a post again. My memory has been rough. I thought I would change the name and then did it and then changed it back again. Originally I named it lilwizz after Rachel's aol email. Then I thought it might offend her but I've already screwed that up anyway so I might as well keep the original name. Since the last post was back in March I must have written about being in the hospital. So I took too much lithium because I was on antibiotics and was dehydrated which is dangerous and I almost died. Marc freaked out and kept telling me that I was going to need full time with a caregiver. I remember being upset which is why I think he was saying it. Evie and Dudah came to visit me in the hospital. Marc didn't want them to visit me because of monitoring of meds. Evie was in Florida in Rehab when our Heather died. I still think of her everyday. When I got home I made it clear that Evie could no longer do things that might put me in danger. She's been in Rehab twice since November. The one here in Maryland threw her out for inappropriate behavior and then wouldn't let her back in the program.

Dr. M cut my dosage and that freaked me out I just have to be very careful cause 2 months ago i ran out early and ended up in the ER they kept me overnight and wanted me seen by psychologist to see if I should be put me back in Mt. Pleasant. There was no way I was going back there. Marc picked up my meds and picked me up at the hospital. Then the world became very confused. Dr. Shapiro thought I might have kidney stones but they found a mass and nodules in my lungs instead. I saw a pulmonologist and he said that they were very small and he couldn't biopsy them because of the size. So I might have lung cancer. That frightens me because both my dad and my uncle both died of lung cancer on the same day, same year. My uncle in Ny and Dad in Florida. Mitch went to Florida to help Sheila but Jay and I didn't feel the need to. Why go down when she was such an abusive bitch. She should suffer.

Then Dr. M took a blood sample and I'm anemic so now I'm on Slo fen. I'm supposed get a poop sample to see if I've got blood in my gastro area. I haven't done it yet. I also need to get my cholesterol checked. I saw the Orthopedist and I need more x-ray's of my left knee. I have to get a knee replacement too much going on at once.

I also haven't sleep more than an hour at a time since 2 days ago. maybe I will be able to sleep a bit.