New Year please be good

I hope that all will be well this New Year. My heart is so heavy, it's breaking Rachel hasn't spoken to me in months. I've reached out to her biological dad who lives not far from her and he's ignoring me too. I cry all the time and sometimes think about doing away with myself. I have the means.

my child Rachel

I guess it doesn't matter if other people read my blog, but if you are reading this I hope you can relate to it in some way. I've been updating my twitter followers and whom I am following. Wrote my ex an email trying to get answers about my daughter Rachel and why did she stop talking to me. I'm trying not to continue calling her and writing to her. I also apologized to him for certain things that I was responsible for during our married life. I guess a lot of it was that I met him when I was age 17. Got engaged on my 18th birthday and married shortly after my 19th birthday. Got pregnant after my 20th birthday and gave birth the following July. It's not what my ex wanted but once she was here He loved her like no other. Ok I'm getting upset now.

Still hurting but getting better

I need to figure out to promote this blog is confusing to me. I pray for all the beautiful innocent children and teacher the 26 - My good dead Will be to help train dogs to help the children  sometimes and animals help so much..many with mental stress and issues. They dont have to be in Connecticut but where we all are. Because we are all effected. Please If there is someone in your life that perhaps you argued with or had a falling out remember life end so fast. Now is the time to do it if you havent straightened it out do before it to late.\

All but for the llittle children

As if the shooting deaths in Conn were not bad enough the christian or so called christian group that pickets soldiers funerals all over the country will be rearing it's ugly head at the funerals of the children who died 20 children whose families don't need the extra stress and pain. What is wrong with these people? At first when I read the social media I thought a pagan was making the weird statement then I went on to the site and realized it was in response to these people
(hate to even call them that, but I have a heart and they don't) What could they accomplish by this hateful act. Jesus would be so disappoint in them. They are not acting in a Pius way!

May Goddess bless all the children, Teachers, parents of all who perished, including the mother of the gunman and yes even the gunman. May Goddess bless you too for reading this blog.

 

Still can't sleep

Well I broke down and took a sleeping  still isn't workin. So too 2 more.Some times I think I should take less so I won't s be Shaking. Just an Idea anyway.

What is pain?

Over the past few days there has been a lot of pain for so many people. For the people of New Towne Conn. 20 beautiful  children will not be around to open the holiday gifts. 6 adults won't be around to guide them. Across town a son kills his mother and initially the press blames his older brother. AND Why will we ever know. So much senseless death. Most of my friends have lost children to drug overdoses, car crashes and just bad luck. Marc lost his brother-in -law over the summer while he was scuba diving, my foster daughter heather did in September just driving the road. My whole body aches at these deaths and here I have 2 biological children who despise me for what I do not know. Each day the pain digs deep inside of my. I have severe memory problems since being in a Catatonic state. It's been very frightening With Rachel she stopped talking right before her 30 birthday. She was calculation in doing it at this time. She said she needed just a little time and it's been over 6 months. She is the heart of my hearts and I would do so much with her if she would just open her heart again. The other child I believe is a lost cause although I will keep trying.

Please Dear Goddess I want my kids back. Help me find a way.]

Ita Keyley 

How to Understand Men

Made a new friend on facebook yesterday and now he just loves to chat with me to the exclusively tried another page I m complicated. So March Took me out to dinner last night we went to 'The Red Robin"  He paid for dinner and I did the tip. We also went to the bank and toke of his banking. Got up to early again so I took an amien hopeful I will get a little sleep I'm watch the food Nework. I love all the shows. Saturdays are my day to just watch the shows. But I had some errands to run and when my guys come to big me up I gotta go. They are nice enough to help me out.

Going to rest for a little make sure I mark down what meds I too. And figure out Monica. I will write more later.

JoDee