Well it's been awhile (or so the Staind song goes) I have some difficulty with my ability to communicate and write since way back in 2011- Have been hospitalized about 4 times. This last time I was taken by ambulance I was in a catatonic state. I am blessed to live with someone who was watching out of for me and call 911. I have no recollection of any of it. I sort of "woke" up several days later in the neurology  Unit at the hospital. All I really remember is someone putting a straw up to my lips and me drinking like there was no tomorrow!!

I was black and blue all over from where they tried to get blood and put a line in. I'm grateful actually that I don't remember that. They even tried a center line in my groin!!! After all the brain stuff - they decided I could use to be in the Mental Health Unit to get my meds straightened out since I had not been taking them due to being in a catatonic state. I was still really out of it when they brought the papers for me to be a voluntary inpatient. I really didn't have a problem with it, I wanted to get straightened out and go home.

I was in St. Joe's unit in July 2012. I was at an appt with my Shrink and became incoherent so he sent me to the ER to be admitted. So I spent 2 weeks there. This was right before my beautiful Heather Passed away after a car accident. And Marc's brother in law passed after a scuba diving accident. I guess after all of that is it any wonder I decided to mentally check out?

So there's more that I haven't remembered - I did have relearn to read and write but that came back quicker than my memories. My son disowned me almost 8 years ago and my Rachel right before her 30th birthday this year. For all the pain Rachel has inflicted on me she has the nerve to tell me I'm the problem. Even when I was in the hospital she refused to acknowledge me. I am finally realizing that you know what it's not me it's her. I have the right to be angry. I almost died and she didn't give a crap. They say what you send out in the universe comes back at you three fold - I don't wish her any harm but it will come back at her.

Jo   .