Well yesterday I found my son had moved to california. There was a picture of him and he looks well. I called his cell phone and left a message but I don't think I'll hear back from him. But that's ok he has that right. I'm just glad he's seems happy with his life. Wish I was a part of it but that ok. It took me 25 years with my own parents so I will give him some leeway. Although they were abusive motherfuckers but maybe he thinks I was only he knows what is in his mind. I will love him till the day I die I write to him in my journing all the time I hope he has the gumption to read them after my death. Which I hope will be a very long time. I have survived so much I will survive this too.

I took a little oxy but I still think I need more. ARGHHHHH So much pain. 1:15pm taking a little more I feel like I'm in hell --- need to pray to the goddess to help me out still annoyed I can't find the cd book of shadows. I know I put it in a case just don't don't which one arghh. Been Talking to Michele from Twitter she got her SSI just from IC. But I shall remain positive 0k that's all for now. Going to be up early tomorrow visit Heather at work.

Blessed be